My spouse is clueless. He has no clue what my mother did to my sisters and I. He has no clue what it means to grow up without a self or voice; to him, life was good. It’s frustrating for me to watch him bop about our house so clueless. It gives me great joy that he never dealt with evil or enraged people. It gives me great joy to know he has loving caring parents. Yet, it irks me to my core how he is so… clueless. When my husband and I tried to get engaged, my mother worked overtime and trying to ensure it never happened to the that she took off her mask and showed him a whiff of her narcissist self. Twenty some years later, he still says, “I can’t believe it, your mother’s eyes were popping out of her head.” Uh huh I thought to myself over and over again. No shit Sherlock multiply that look by a million plus times. Absolutely clueless.
It’s also not fair that I expect an average everyday person to understand such an unnatural thing; a mother who hunts and preys her own children. It is disturbing and insane. He cannot understand it. He understand bits ad pieces and then he forgets again bc it’s so unnatural. So, it’s better that he is clueless, it means that he’s normal. My daughters need a normal parent who expects normal interactions with his parents and people. How else can I continue to raise normal happy young adults?
So it’s not fair that I expect him or anyone else who has not experienced evil mothers to understand where I came from and how I feel.